wow what a great audience

I first got the idea the day before leaving for a vacation. It all started when I realized that Sherlock does not have a My Immortal. THIS NEEDED TO BE FIXED STAT. I thought about doing one for Doctor Who, but Doctor Who has too many characters and plots to properly piss off everyone.

And as an added plus, Sherlockians latch onto crack like leeches, so I knew it was only a matter of time before people discovered my fic and were horrified by it.

I began writing the day before we left. I was watching a SPN episode at the time… I think it was the one where Chuck first appeared (by the way, awesome episode) but that’s not the point.

The squinty eyes thing came from my eight year old sister. (You may know her as the Matt Smith fangirling, Kurt loving, 11/Rory shipper, and aspiring writer I quote on here sometimes).

I showed her the trailer for Sherlock once and she said, “This is awesome but Sherlock has really squinty eyes. That bugs me.” So I tossed in a line about Sherlock having squinty eyes for fun.

Also, originally the bitchily part said: “But John can act way bitchier because Martin Freeman plays him”, as a nod to the whole Freeman rage thing, but I ended up changing it because Morgan Freeman was funnier to me. I imagined John as Morgan Freeman for the rest of the fic, and that was very amusing.

If you read the first chapter you may notice that the murder takes place in a museum. I originally had this big thing with a dinosaur being the murderer and Anderson being involved, but I thought that would be too big of a hint that I was a troll. But I still wanted to include dinosaurs, and thus “Why don’t you go fuck a dinosaur Anderson, jerk and also you’re cheating on your wife” was born.

The “Anderson is a pimp” thing came from a post I saw saying “Anderson must have a large dick because both his wife and Donavon sleep with him”. I wanted to write “Anderson’s like a pimp he gets a lot of girls” but I typed “girls” like “dick”… and, well.

I didn’t expect the “Lestrande” thing to become so popular, but I’m kinda glad it did because the funniness there was unintentional. Although I think his name is the only consistent one throughout the entire fic (Moriarty is spelled different almost every time, my favorites are “Moritarty”, “Moriparty” and who could forget “Morifarty (haha!)?”.

Actually, on the subject of Morifarty- I only added in that line because I couldn’t believe that know one had made that pun. Seriously guys? I AM THE ONLY IMMATURE ONE HERE TO NOT SEE THAT. Oh well. Onto the other stuff.

This thing sat on my laptop for about half a month until I finally got the balls to upload it. I made a new fanfiction account and called it “samlicker113” because I wanted to make a Supernatural reference. Then I typed up a little profile for Sammy, and we were go time!

Naming the fic was the hard part. I’m going to be honest here: I needed it to be something that I could track as a tag to see my trolling progress, so it had to be original. I tried everything, and finally my brain conjured up- “Box Of Flowers”. But for some reason, it didn’t feel right, so I changed it to what you have today. No it’s not relevant, and probably never will be.

(Two things: ONE, skull is the only word spelled right throughout the story, and TWO: in the chapter “the kill” the bolded words spell out something…)

It was the night after posting chapter two that I had my idea for the ending. I was originally just going to write a really bad ending and leave you all wondering whether it was a troll or not. But then, in the dead of night, while trying to sleep, I came up with the twist. I also had nightmares about Sammy that night, and that’s what inspired her.

I’ll admit, I was proud of myself. Very. But the problem? Now that I had the twist, I couldn’t just end the fic like that. So I had to bullshit my way through the rest of the plot and hope that people would still read it. I made a small post linking to the fic and pretending to hate on it in hopes that people would read it, but only one person did. But a famous person in the fandom posted a link to it, and then that’s when it skyrocketed.

By the time I wrote chapter three, therealrinnian’s dramatic readings were out. I was smiling so much reading people’s comments, my mom that I was looking at porn. Goddammit. I’m pretty glad she didn’t walk in on me literally crying with laughter. Somehow, Rinnian’s superb voice made the fic so goddamn funny. I could not breathe for a full minute.

I started posting chapters really fast to get to the ending. I prided myself on the fact that the whole fandom began to read my fic- I wished I could have revealed my identity then, but that would have ruined the magic.

Also, there was this one line here that I found really funny but no one else seemed to. I have no idea why I found it so funny, but my brain comes up with depraved things late at night, and this particular passage was one of those things.

“we will all miss anderson eve nif we has a jerk” said lestraaaande “he was a good dog both in snifing and when we would have BDMS sex and he wolud sniff my pantees- i mean when he did drugs busts”

Enough of that. Moving on!

The idea of John having a brother called Oreo amused me to no end, so I added it in for kicks.

The motorcycle coptor was totally on whim, by the way. When I wrote that part I secretly wished for fanart because holy shit I’ve always wanted to see someone draw the hybrid of motorcycle and helicoptor. 

The moment when I started to feel bad about the fic dragging on so long was when I saw a tag that said “I feel like Flowers In A Box is gonna get really old, really fast”. This was bad, because I wanted people to read the ending- that’s the good part. The rest is just shameless lead up.

So I wrote three more chapters and called it quits. And the fandom liked it, and I liked that the fandom liked it, so all was well.

Also, on the subject of the ending- people seem to think that the twist is it was all in John’s head, but that’s not the twist. The twist is the clones. THE TWIST IS THE CLONES PEOPLE

Also, for future reference, here is the number of references in the story:

-Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (John forgets his towel.)

-Supernatural (Don’t you have that angel friend that can travel in time? NO HE’S GOD NOW).

-Doctor Who

-A Very Potter Musical

-Glee

If you’ve read this whole thing, kudos. Thank you for reading! If you have any further questions just drop them in the ask. Bye!

PS: Do I have any regrets? …Yes. Just one. Not including a Rupert Graves joke. Because I totally should have.